Britians brains

[VR6gaz 0]

It's hard to believe people like this exist. Some of them are determined not to be helped. They must have been born & raised in a deep mineshaft and only brought out for these shows!

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE

Bamber Gascoigne: What was Ghandi's first name?

Contestant: Goosey, Goosey?

THE WEAKEST LINK

Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?

Contestant: Jool carriageway.

Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?

Contestant: Bombay.

Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?

Contestant: Crocodiles.

Anne Robinson: Wh...?

Contestant (interrupting): Pass!

Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling entertainers or chocolate salesmen?

Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.

Anne Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?

Contestant: (long pause) Joe?

Anne Robinson: Who was a famous Indian leader, whose name begins with G, revered by millions, who was assassinated and received a state funeral?

Contestant: Geronimo!

NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET

Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.?

Contestant: William Shakespeare.

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW, BBC BRISTOL

Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?

Caller: Japan.

Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.

Caller: Er... Mexico?

FAMILY FORTUNES

1) Something a blind man might use? - A Sword

2) A song with the word Moon in the title? - Blue Suede Moon

3) Name the capital of France? - F

4) Name a bird with a long Neck? - Naomi Campbell

5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? - A burglar

6) Where is the Taj Mahal? - Opposite the Dental Hospital

7) What is Hitler's first name? - Heil

8) A famous Scotsman? - Jock

9) Some famous brothers? - Bonnie and Clyde.

10) A dangerous race? - The Arabs

11) Something that floats in a bath? - Water

12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? - A horse

13) Something you wear on a beach? - A deckchair

14) A famous Royal? - Mail

15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? - A bicycle with wings

16) A famous bridge? - The Bridge Over Troubled Waters

17) Something a cat does? - Goes to the toilet

18) Something you do in the bathroom? - Decorate

19) A method of securing your home? - Put the kettle on

20) Something associated with pigs? - The Police

21) A sign of the Zodiac? - April

22) Something people might be allergic to? - Skiing

23) Something you do before you go to bed? - Sleep

24) Something you put on walls? - A roof

25) Something slippery? - A conman

26) A kind of ache? - A fillet of fish

27) A jacket potato topping? - Jam

28) A food that can be brown or white? - A potato

29) Something sold by gypsies? - Bananas

30) Something red? - My sweater

RADIO LINCS PHONE-IN

Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?

Contestant: Barcelona.

Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.

Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.

STEVE WRIGHT SHOW, RADIO 2

Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?

Contestant: India.

Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?

Contestant: Espresso.

Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.

Contestant: Sydney.

THIS MORNING

Judy Finnegan: The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about opera. True or false?

Contestant: True?

Judy Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show,so I'll give you that.

BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE

Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.

BOB HOPE BIRTHDAY QUIZ, LBC

Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?

Contestant: Four

BBC GMR, PHIL WOOD SHOW

Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?

Contestant: Er...

Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...

Contestant: Blimey?

Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...

Contestant: (Silence)

Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...

Contestant: Walked?

DARYL'S DRIVETIME, VIRGIN RADIO

Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?

Contestant: Holland?

Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.

Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?

Daryl Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?

Contestant: No.

[AndreWilk 1]

That's very funny, how stupid are these people. My favorite was always Family Fortunes! "If its up there I'll give you the money myself"!

[thegoth 5]

I'm dubious about these:

"FAMILY FORTUNES

3) Name the capital of France? - F

6) Where is the Taj Mahal? - Opposite the Dental Hospital

7) What is Hitler's first name? - Heil

"

FF questions never have single, correct, answers.