spindat45 0 Posted March 29, 2007 Report Share Posted March 29, 2007 > One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very > Sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you >want." > > So he tied her up and went golfing. > > ************************************************** > >A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into > >the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, >"Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!" > >The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or > mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out." > > ************************************************** > >Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the >other is a husband. > > > ************************************************** > >A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. > >First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him >a card with the letters: > > 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' > >"Can you read this?" the optician asked. > >"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy." > >************************************************** > > >Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, >"I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the >convent." > >"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay." > >************************************************** > >A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her >husband burst into the kitchen. > >"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're >cooking too many at once. > >TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE >are we going to > >get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be >CAREFUL! You NEVER listen >to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have > you LOST your mind? > >Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the >salt. USE THE SALT! THE >SALT!" The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? >You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?" The husband calmly >replied, "I just wanted to show you > what it feels like when I'm driving." > Link to post Share on other sites
Gibs20 0 Posted April 1, 2007 Report Share Posted April 1, 2007 hahaha like em Link to post Share on other sites
nivag27 5 Posted April 1, 2007 Report Share Posted April 1, 2007 My wife really appriciated the drivin one, not, lol Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts