If World War 1 was a bar fight......followed by World War 2 as a bar fight

[craggsy 91]

Shamelessly purloined from another forum...

WW1

Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria’s pint.

Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg.

Germany expresses its support for Austria’s point of view.

Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.

Serbia points out that it can’t afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria’s trousers.

Russia and Serbia look at Austria.

Austria asks Serbia who it’s looking at.

Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone.

Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so.

Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene.

Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?

Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action.

Britain and France ask Germany whether it’s looking at Belgium.

Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.

Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium.

France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other.

Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it’s on Britain’s side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.

Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it.

France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.

Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting.

America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself.

By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany’s fault . While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.

WW2

If World War II was a barfight...

Britain and France are still feeling pretty sore about the last fight that happened. They feel as though they were all too harsh on Germany. Germany walks into the bar and hugs his long lost friend Austria - who he hasn't seen since the first barfight.

Germany starts to see Spain and his wife have an argument about money. Spain's wife suggests they share the husbands salary equally between them. Germany hears this and throws a punch at the wife. The husband high fives Germany. Britain and France see this but are not bothered. Germany is getting into an aggressive state, but no one has noticed.

Germany sees Czechoslovaki in the bar, and sees he's wearing a watch that was originally taken from him during the first barfight. Germany wants his watch back, but Britain feels like Germany is getting too aggressive now. Britain and Germany have a debate and agree that Germany should take his watch back. Germany immediately jumps onto Czechoslovakia and beats him senseless. He takes back his watch, but also all his money and jewellery (which Britain did not agree with). But, no one complains.

Germany sees Russia sitting across the bar. Germany feels an uncontrollable hatred for Russia, but goes and sits down with him. They exchange conversation, and pretend they don't hate each other. They then both agree to beat up Poland and take his money.

They begin beating up Poland and share the money between them. Britain and France finally see this and charge for Germany. Unfortunately, Germany had become a bit of a warrior after being left beaten in the first barfight. Britain put up a good fight as Germany attacked it, but France had been knocked out with Germany's first punch. The rest of Europe charge for Germany, who was backed up by Austria. Germany continues to pummel the rest of Europe with his superior strength.

Germany continues to destroy the rest of Europe. He becomes too big-headed and gently throws a sucker punch into Russia. Russia sees this, and knocks Germany out with a single punch. He contines to beat into Germany leaving him half dead.

America is silently watched the fighting, drinking a pint at the bar. Japan is tired of sitting on the sidelines and body slams America. This causes a brawl between the two, resulting in Japan being crushed under another pointless feud. America sees Germany on the floor next to the defeated France. America runs up to France and helps him up. America then proceeds to kick Germany and Japan simaltaneously on the ground.

America once again claims glory for the entire barfight, and this results in every other country in the bar hating America. None the less, they all still take Germany's money and have more drinks while Japan and Germany lay unconscious. All the countries agree not to have another barfight for a long time. Until Afghanistan walks into the bar...

[Nex 17]

hahaha that is brilliant

[spadam 7]

Lol thats brilliant

[vrni 0]

Excellent, gonna have to shamelessly pilfer that one myself. lol

[editionmatt 1]

haha brilliant, strangly out of breath from reading it lol

[The Monk 50]

lol. I loved that.

[Jimmy-VR6-Highline 0]

Nice! very good lol