pete8tch 0 Posted May 19, 2005 Report Share Posted May 19, 2005 1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter>>after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a>>$26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking>>intelligence.>>>>>>>>2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two>>hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his>>home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the>>man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come>>out and give yourself up.">>>>>>3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped>>a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller>>machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own>>bank accounts.>>>>4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked>>for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small,>>so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three>>hours until police showed up and grabbed him.>>>>5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery>>suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives>>asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money>>or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "that's not what I said!".>>>>>>6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My>>wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart". "Is>>this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is>>her husband!">>>>7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King>>was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a>>weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun...>>Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!>>>>8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the>>high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating,>>were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get>>their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every>>maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of>>trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone>>there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check>>revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine,>>the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and>>pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check>>underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. NOW>>REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.>>Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!>> Link to post Share on other sites
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