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If men ruled......

vwmadgirl

By vwmadgirl,
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vwmadgirl

vwmadgirl 0

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If men ruled the world would be different

- Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to 'I love you.'

- Hallmark would make 'Sorry, what was your name again?' cards.

- When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she would appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during half-time.

- Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the bum would pretty much do it.

- Birth control could come in ale or lager.

- The funniest guy in the office would get to be the big boss.

- 'Sorry I'm late, I got hammered last night,' would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.

- It'd be considered harmless fun to gather 30 friends, put on horned helmets, and go pillage a nearby town.

- Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the 'public ugliness' ordinance.

- Tanks would be far easier to rent.

- Instead of beer belly, you'd get 'beer biceps'.

- Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, 'You're No. 1.'

- Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29.

- Cops would be broadcast live and you could phone in advice to the pursuing cops. Or to the crooks.

- The victors in any athletic competition would get to kill and eat the losers.

- The only show opposite Friday Night Football would be Friday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle.

- It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of petrol.

- Every man would get four real 'Get Out of Jail Free' cards per year.

- When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-alec answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine, as in:

Cop: `You know how fast you were going?'

You: 'All I know is that I was spilling my beer all over the place.'

Cop: 'Nice one. That's £10 off.'

!amazed ;)

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patrick green

patrick green 0

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LOL

- Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to 'I love you.'

- Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, 'You're No. 1.'

You're saying neither of these are ok??? :o &|

If women ruled the world then cars would come with convenient holders for lippy & mascara, rear-view mirrors would be backlit & permantely fixed so the driver could only see themselves (herself?) in it & indicators would be an optional (male) accessory! ;) !amazed

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vwmadgirl

vwmadgirl 0

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LOL

- Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to 'I love you.'

- Instead of an expensive engagement ring' date=' you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, 'You're No. 1.'

You're saying neither of these are ok??? :o &|

If women ruled the world then cars would come with convenient holders for lippy & mascara, rear-view mirrors would be backlit & permantely fixed so the driver could only see themselves (herself?) in it & indicators would be an optional (male) accessory! ;) !amazed [/quote']

lmao....No neither of them are ok........huh

Errr if women ruled the world we would ban the male drivers and the roads would be accident free !amazed :P

LMAO!

does this mean we don't rule the world then?!

Errrr yep you dont.....maybe think you rule the roads but not with us girly VR6 owners on the roads now..... ;)

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just2zang

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saw this t-shirt 2day that said "if thats all you've got to say, put my c*ck back in your mouth", very rude t-shirt indead!

i don't drink beer anyway. More like Dom Pérignon - sous coffret 1993 . :-).. Actually no, more like Double jd and coke..

Ever noticed that when women are in a position of power they tend to act like men? Quite unatractive unless she's the office sophistablondaho type... !heart

As for driving, we've all seen what your like with prams, edging out into a road with a truck driver coming at 50 in the wet..NOT GOOD ~:( . I've often had to stop and yell at them cos they forgot the baby was inside.. Men have accidents avoiding ignorant women, cos we feel bad if we hurt the tender beuties. We were born to protect you from harm. Do you want a man or a mouse?

maybe they should come out with a new car.. the volkswoman. !amazed That would be nice, all in pink with flowery seats and cat's that smell of perfume..and pedals designed for 6 inch heels. A blowdryer attached to the sunblind.

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antera309

antera309 3

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>maybe they should come out with a new car.. the volkswoman. That would be nice, all in pink with flowery seats etc etc.

They have. The new Beetle.

"0 to Bitch in 4 seconds" sticker on the rear window is standard equipment.

[ Edited Tue Apr 06 2004, 07:08PM ]

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vwmadgirl

vwmadgirl 0

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>maybe they should come out with a new car.. the volkswoman. That would be nice' date=' all in pink with flowery seats etc etc.

They have. The new Beetle.

"0 to Bitch in 4 seconds" sticker on the rear window is standard equipment.

Bit below the belt that, i will race you someday....then see who drives like a fairy.... :D

come on lads, your being harsh now.

You know females are frail, and they'll only go out for a drive to cool off, and bump some guys golf in the car park. even if its the only other car there. lol.

Oh dear there is gonna be some arse kicking on the site soon, just because we are out numbered on here .....just you all wait till us girls get together on this volksfest :P

or they'll go shopping and do the same with a trolley. ha ha.

Only messing Paula, your probs a better driver than me, and those trolleys handle like breeze blocks. lol

lmao- you know i am...... :P see getting scared now and being all nice cos you dont want to be beaten by a girl.....lol

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antera309

antera309 3

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>>"0 to Bitch in 4 seconds" sticker on the rear window is >>standard equipment.

>Bit below the belt that, i will race you someday....then see >who drives like a fairy....

All in jest, of course. Don't those poxy window stickers bug you too? They are so not funny.

Look forward to meeting you on the dragstrip tho. Learned long ago not to underestimate a lady!! ;)

[ Edited Tue Apr 06 2004, 10:31PM ]

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